how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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