Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I want a musical about memes.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
