Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize