yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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