I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
