My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
