I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
