I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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