Barsexuality is the new black.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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