You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
