If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
