he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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