you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
