I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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