Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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