How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
