help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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