Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
