Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize