So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
