Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
