is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just invented taco cereal.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
