OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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