Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
