If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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