For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
