Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
