just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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