I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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