Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
