so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
