Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize