you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
