The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
