so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
