He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There's always time for handjobs
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
