I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
