My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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