I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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