She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
