i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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