yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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