he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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