There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
