Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
