I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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