i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
