why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
