Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
