just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
